Moving Whinge.

It seems as though the reality of my moving is now starting to sink in. I met with my best friend of so many years this evening. We did our usual dinner and a movie followed by some driving around and heading back to her place. A couple hard questions were asked, and I am thinking that my moving is real now.

I guess there are lots of things to complain about in life. It's easier to talk about who I don't want to be like or what I don't want to do than to be assertive and make plans for what I want. Because making plans and risking failure or success or having a life that doesn't resemble anyone else, well that's just crazy talk. We only get one chance through life, unless of course you subscribe in reincarnation, and time's a wasting. Not much sense in saying, "Well, if only X would do Y, then I could have a life. I can't do X because then I'm responsible for all these other things that don't go away and I can't depend on anyone but me, so it's not possible."

What do I really want to say? I don't know that I care to put it out there for everyone's eyes. I don't know what my life is at the moment. I guess lots of us like to think that we know or that our futures are within our control. My life seems to never quite follow the order that I had thought. It seems easier to go with the flow of what presents itself than to work hard to insert myself into something that just may be a lot of work with no result. I don't know what to do honestly. I guess if I was "driven" I might be dividing and conquering or at least planning to. Instead, here I sit typing while everyone else in snoozing hoping to keep up the brave face until I get on the plane Wednesday.

Moving.

As we are preparing to move, I realize that I'm far to busy to really process my farewells to people. It seems like a lot of it is simply a hug and release program. It dawns on me a bit later that this will be the last time I see some people for a while. It's hard to see some cherished friends for possibly one of the last times in a while. And, even as I write this, I know that there will be some who will try to say something about what a grand adventure I'm going to have. The music begins and swells so that you hear Michael W. Smith singing, "And friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them...." Gag. It sucks to let people go.

Today was fairly busy with last dr appointments in the morning. We went to playgroup from there with us being incredibly late. We had a nice time and I was able to unload more Japanese food as well as few other items. I unfortunately left everything at June's, so I hope she doesn't have a lot of stuff left that no one took to throw away. Home for a nap for E, and I checked email as well as watched a past episode of Grey's Anatomy that I hadn't seen before. We visited with a neighbor for a while in the late afternoon before coming home to get dinner ready.

Tomorrow is a dental appointment for me. We need to replace a filling that's fractured. Yeah, let's get that out of the way before moving to Japan. I have a lot of errands that need doing, but I don't know when or how much I'll get done. We'll see.

Well, I need to get going so that I get some more work done. Tomorrow is trash day and I need to throw out as much as I can. Oye.