Too much time inside my head.
I've spent far too much time inside my head lately. I turn everything over, look at its tender underbelly, and generally find fault with what I'm doing or who I am.
So for this moment, I am celebrating me. Me who wonders if what I'm doing as a mother is good enough. Me who wonders why there is not a made from scratch meal on the table every night. Me who wonders if I'll ever be a person that someone else admires. Me, for better or worse, I'm a person who lets all these thoughts run unchecked so that I'm unable to move in any direction as I'm constantly analyzing things. Analysis paralysis is the phrase that comes to mind.
But, if I start to make friends with me, then maybe I can find the strengths and weaknesses that lie within. I read on a blog recently something that cut a little close to the bone...this person said that many people can always say what they don't want, but they are hard pressed to verbalize what they do want. Human nature, maybe?
Still thinking...
posted by bethyl @ 3:30 PM
2 Comments:
...You think that comes from the comment that is told to us over and over through life - "deny thy self?" Or the Italian mother who lays guilt on you for just about everything you do or don't do? Or the "body of believes" who tell you that you "can't" feel or think that way? - It may take you 50+ years (hold the comments), butt you can turn it around B. We tend overlook other shortcomings but find our own faults very easy. Don't laugh, butt I made a list of my strengths and look at it often, it takes up the extra negative space in my head and helps with those occasions when i have too much time inside my head....(he said with a smile on his face - K)
Yes, if I could only name it, I could claim it. Get me some of that supernat'ral power!
But I can't rest the blame solely there either. If I didn't enjoy the beating and denial, why would I have stayed? sigh
I am going to learn from your example though and start with a list of strengths. That's a very good place to start.
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