Uninvolved Fathers.

While it may not be seen exactly the same throughout the world, I think there is a view that Japanese fathers are largely uninvolved. Uninvolved at least by Western standards meaning that perhaps they serve as chief financier but leave all of the particulars to their spouse and other formative people in their child's life.

While much of that is believed as truth, and in some cases I can see it's truth, it is not the whole picture. Each weekend whenever we are out, we see countless fathers out with their kids alone having lunch or playing at the nearby park. I always wonder if it's simply a break for Mom, or if it's "If you want this living space to look like something other than a disaster zone, you will take them out and leave me to clean."

A couple weekends ago we were at the park together, and a father was there with his two kids. One I estimated to be possibly 18 months, not much older. He was pushing his daughter on the swing next to E and was being called away from time to time by his older child. When his daughter slowed almost to a stop, I started to crank her up again. He came rushing back, apologizing and thanking me all at the same time. F was in front of E pretending to try to catch her as she swung up "high in the sky". I noticed the little girl's head looking down and wondered if she might be getting sleepy. The dad came back over, slowed her to a stop, and removed his sleeping daughter from the swing. He told F that she often falls asleep on the swing, so it wasn't like it was a one off.

I've just started teaching English classes as E's daycare, and I was granted a back stage pass to the view from the teacher's side. I always would like to creep up to the window and peer in without E knowing that I am there to get a look at how and what she's doing there. Things change when your child knows you're on the premises. It's sort of comforting to see that they are able to adjust happily to the outside world.

On Wednesday, the first day of my teaching there, I looked out the window of my room to the entranceway of the daycare. There I saw a dad in a suit come to pick up his child. Notable at first, a father is there before 6 pm, I daresay even 5:30. Next I noticed the broad smile on his face as he had caught sight of his child playing. And, finally, the cherry on top, I see him launch into a wild jumping jack style wave trying to catch the attention of his child who had obviously not seen him first. It was sweet, endearing, and oh so very human in a place that sometimes feels rather emotionally stunted. It still brings a smile.