Lack of Acceptance.

Recently I've found myself in many a funk, and the central issue is my lack of acceptance of reality. While I would like to hide away, isolate myself from others while I hunker down and try to wrangle out an appropriate response, believing that no one else feels the way that I do or would understand or perhaps it's a personality fault that would be cured with a little more faith or a little less critical thinking on my part, all of those coping mechanisms fail. Why? Because slowly I am realizing that it is the human state.

I've recently been reading a book of essays and Johnathon Franzen writes about his experience growing up with the Peanuts comic strips. He relates that he learned about disillusionment from Charlie Brown when he was spurned by the little red-haired girl. He is sitting with Snoopy and says that he wishes he had two ponies so that he and the little red haired girl can go for a ride together. After some thought, he looks at Snoopy and demands, "Why aren't you two ponies?"

While my rendering lacks Franzen's eloquence, it seems to be the way that I relate to various issues in my life. Why can't my spouse be more communicative? Why doesn't my work fill me with confidence? Why can't I make that leap into a new level of Japanese language? Why? Why? Why?

I've been reading another book some nights before my eyes give out on me and the book falls, whacking me on the nose and forcing me awake. In it the author writes about simply letting go and accepting people and situations for what they are. While it is a simple solution, he states that obviously it is not a simple task. But, what do we gain by weighing in on our judgment of situations? Does it change anything? Do complaints, arguments, or obstinance change persons or situations?

Food for thought.