Befuddled.

So, I'm a bit surprised at myself. After posting my last blog about wanting IRL friends, my daughter woke up from her nap. After a snack and hearing a boy from downstairs outside playing, she wanted to go out. I noticed a couple other moms out and about, but I really just did not want to go.

What gives? What about IRL friends? Sometimes I don't mind going outside, but I wish I could first put on my invisibility cloak. I don't want to have to make conversation when it's so painfully apparent that my conversation doesn't measure up for 3-5 year olds. I came away from Japanese class today just wondering what I had spent the last 90 minutes doing.

I'd like to believe that it's all language related, but some of it is just that I'd like to be outside of my apartment and yet in a private domain. That does not exist. I don't know if we lived in a house if that would be the case or not, but I like to tell myself that I could do whatever I liked in my own yard without having to make chit chat.

I am a study in contrasts.