Irritation.

I don't know what it was that was getting underneath my skin today, but this whole issue of being illiterate really gets on my nerves from time to time. I thought to myself that I was tired of trying to guess what was in front of me and having F read for me when it was necessary and translate. Looking at websites and having to try to do adult pseudo-literacy matching to try to find the specialty I was looking for does wonders for the ego.

So, irritation and frustration, when channeled properly can cause one to put on their big girl panties and deal with it. Dealing with it at the moment makes me wonder when I might be able to find time to join a class. I have the JLPT 3 (Japanese Language Proficiency Test) in December that I seem to be making no headway in studying.

I am quite averse to the notion of going to a class on a Saturday night. Who goes to class on Saturday night? When I could be spending a night at home doing, well, nothing except bathing and going to bed, or wait, eating dinner at the inlaws as we often do on Saturday evening. Hmm...when did I become an adult with nothing interesting going on? Honestly it was well before E made her appearance. I've been dull for years.

I just like to keep my options open, you know.

Please be advised.

CAUTION

The tiger may spray urine. Please be careful.

If you notice, however, the tiger is peeing in it's own water supply.

More Halloween Party Fun.

E & J and their Mums















Mummy!

Halloween Party # 2

GIRAFFE DOWN!

This was Halloween Party # 2 for us this year. We had a wonderful time and E had a good time playing with her friend who lives a bit far away. We need to make a trip back to Mie to visit with her family again, and I guess I need an excuse to chat and drink the night away.

I also got my hair did before going there today, so it was an industrious weekend for us. Friday night was dental checks. Saturday ended up being a day to get my eyes checked and new contacts purchased though I'm still not used to those. (It rained so no trip to the Monkey Park yesterday.)

Tomorrow F goes to Tokyo for the week, and I am kind of looking forward to it. I don't know what E and I will get ourselves into, but the week always has a way of taking care of itself. No playgroup this week, so we have 2 days free. Woo hoo!

Aaaah, I'm tired.

Date.

This was the view from our table on Saturday. F arranged for his sister to watch E while we had a date. He made a reservation for this restaurant perched on the 52nd floor of the Towers. While it wouldn't have mattered to me as long as it wasn't our usual spot where we wolfed down food with Emi, it was very thoughtful of him to find something special.

In addition to this special lunch, I had a gift waiting for me after we left from his folks' place--a new necklace that he had put in the glove box of the car. Again, it wouldn't have mattered what it was. It was that there was thought put into it and that it wasn't a rushed matter that seemed to be thrown together at the last minute.

I often play detective to see how much thought/money/time went into something, but I decided that I would not let myself ruin my own gift. So what if he bought it on the way home from work the previous day? I just didn't care. I took the gift for what it was: a thoughtful gift, a moment to acknowledge and appreciate me. While I don't expect extravagance at all times, it is nice to be reminded that you are worth more than the daily drudgery of laundry, meals wolfed down, and basic needs met.

Bliss.

So this pic was taken several weeks ago now when my brother was visiting us. F snapped this at the airport just before we spied an older gentleman wearing a t-shirt that said "Morally Bankrupt".

Tune in Tokyo

Halloween.

So, the Halloween party went off well. We took the pic at the beginning before costumes were shed. I had to practically promise the world to E to get the giraffe hat back on her head. Something about it hurt; well, beauty hurts so suck it up!

She napped on the way home, for which I was grateful. I had almost 2 hours to recover. I say that as I am being devil mother and not letting Emi kick the cart that the computer is on. Bedtime, how long off are you?

Pain.

Today I had the opportunity or shame, however you wish to look at it, to see a friend in turmoil. As the leader of a group that we attend weekly, she is responsible for reserving facilities for us to use throughout the year. To mark this season, there was a Halloween party today for all of our kiddies.

When I arrived, there were many people gathered around the reception counter. I thought they were just getting the key or details what have you, but in fact, it seemed as though there was no reservation for us. How to have a party without a facility? And how to contact all the members of our group within an hour if this can't be fixed?

I watched my friend. I watched others try to soothe her, but she was not going to be comforted.

"I don't understand. I just really don't get it. I know that we made a reservation with them. I was standing right there when my husband was on the phone with them. I know we couldn't have made that big a mistake, and they say the name we're giving them for a contact name doesn't even work here."

I understood the ground on which she was standing: It was shaky ground the world she was crafting for herself that allowed no room for things to go wrong. She worked hard to be at a good weight. She worked hard at doing her best at work. She worked hard to be a good housewife. She worked hard at being a good mother. She worked hard at making things PERFECT. All of that work that she had put into something to make it up to her standards was slowly dissolving before her, and she could do nothing.

It was out of embarrassment, for her and also for myself, that I offered something resembling nothing. I could so easily relate to what she felt, and I also felt embarrassed that I had been the star of my own dramatic comedy.

Even as I write this, I feel the urge to put my fingers in my ears and say, "La la la, I'm not listening," as I try to keep those feelings of both disappointment, embarrassment, and inadequacy at bay. Much like when you walk alone at night and those feelings of fear begin to encroach, you find yourself talking out loud to keep the boogeyman away.

I hope that her monsters don't disable her. I hope that I can find a way to appease my own.